With my first month of Crossfit under my belt (boo-ya!), I think it’s time to pass on some wisdom.
1. The concept of getting in shape before you start Crossfit is absurd. I keep hearing, “I want to try Crossfit, I just need to get in shape first!” Crossfit is going to kick your butt no matter what, so stop making excuses and just get in there.
2. Puking is apparently not a sign of weakness, but a sign of being a badass. Bleeding is also encouraged. (Bonus points if you puke blood?)
3. You are not allowed to eat anything that was not available to our Paleolithic ancestors – luckily, they apparently had unlimited access to expensive whey protein powder.
4. The drive to the gym will become the most nerve-wracking part of your day.
5. You are going to be sore for the rest of your life. “It will get easier as you get stronger” doesn’t apply when the workouts can be scaled to push you to muscle failure every time, even if you are a Viking.
6. You are only competing against yourself. Nobody else cares if you finish last or if you have the lightest bar, they just want to see you do your best. Even your trainers are having a hard time finishing the WOD, so don’t feel bad.
7. As per #6, you will get called out if you are not doing your best. No corner cutting or “losing count” allowed.
8. If you request Britney Spears to be played at the beginning of a WOD, no one will ever ask you for your music preference again.
9. Talking non-stop about Crossfit will instantly become almost irresistibly appealing, but it is generally discouraged if you want to keep your non-Crossfit friends.
10. Crossfit is expensive – but you will find ways to afford $150/month membership fees while still eating organic vegetables and grass-fed beef by cutting out all other social activities in your life. Priorities, people. So maybe #9 isn’t so important.
11. Cheat meals are going to become a really, really big deal. The nachos you are only allowed to eat once a month will become a borderline religious experience.
12. You will start reading Crossfit and Paleo blogs. A lot. You might even start one.
13. Forget what you thought you knew about what you can and can’t do. All of those things are going to be redefined, and then redefined again the next time.
14. Barefoot-style shoes and compression tights will suddenly start to find their way into your daily rotation. You will begin to rationalize why a sports bra is totally part of a business casual wardrobe.
15. The concept of working out in any other capacity will become almost comical, so you might as well cancel your Pilates membership now.