Day 58: Tears

I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. Is it possible to get whiplash from a jerk press? Ok, how about from 49 of them?

Last night’s WOD was 7 rounds of 7 jerk presses, 200 m run, then 7 front squats. My bar weighed 65 lbs. I knew I was in trouble when I couldn’t even link the first set of jerk presses, and it really only went downhill from there.

By the end I was only able to do 1, maybe 2 jerk presses at a time, and 3 or 4 squats between rests. I was running almost entirely with my eyes closed just to concentrate on moving my feet (a dangerous activity due to the constant presence of small children riding tandem on scooters at the end of the block where our 200m turnaround is). At the end of the 5th round, I dropped the bar and left for the run with tears in my eyes, and by the end of the 7th round, with TJ and the BF standing next to me coaxing me to pick the bar up just one more time, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I was at muscle failure 2 reps before the end of the set. I ended up counting a 3/4 press and a 1/2 press together to create my 5th rep. When I did finally somehow make it through the last 2 reps, I dropped the bar, walked outside, and started crying.

I am not a crier. I get a little choked up occasionally, but it usually takes a significant personal tragedy before I actually cry. But last night it just felt like my body was out of options. It was a feeling I have definitely never experienced before, where all my resources were totally exhausted and my defenses were totally gone. I have had some really hard WODs in the past few weeks, but last night’s was the first where I was staring down the final set and thinking I don’t know if I can physically do this. It was beyond pushing myself and beyond convincing myself to go for it. And it apparently took every ounce of emotional stability I had in my body to get through it.

Even though I finished feeling like I had definitely accomplished something significant, it also made me think: When do you reach a point where you have to say “This is too much”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/cheezywiz Cheez Wiz

    Never!

  • http://www.crossfitfaith.com Thomas Cox

    keep going girl! you are doing awesome

  • Pingback: Day 60: More Truths for CrossFit Beginners | 90 Days of Crossfit

  • Romanesque

    Just have to say THANK YOU for sharing this story. (Catching up on GGW podcasts – heard your story about another so-called ‘easy’ workout at Jai a while ago involving a lot of running – then I came to your blog searching for stories involving crying.)

    I have never gone on a full crying jag at Crossfit, but I have come close many times. It’s encouraging to recognize that I am not alone in this experience. When you’re hanging out in the CF ‘bubble,’ it’s easy to lose sight sometimes of how intensely demanding these workouts are – emotionally, mentally and physically.

    (Case in point: a co-worker who is severely de-conditioned told me yesterday that she joined a big gym in her neighborhood (not CF). The first ‘workout’ she put herself through was to row 1000 meters. So. At my CF gym, rowing 1000 meters is like the warm-up to the warm-up to the warm-up – but for her, it was a major sweat-fest.)

    Anyhow, I’m loving the podcast and loving the feminine intelligence you guys are bringing to the Crossfit conversation. And i love blog entries like this. Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your human experience with us!

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